Raising Sons 101

Raising a son presents unique challenges. To help families meet these challenges, schools can offer an educational opportunity to their parents.

The aim of the Raising Sons 101 workshop is to focus parents' attention upon boys' development needs and to present a set of skills and perspectives that can help families meet these needs.  We've developed this workshop because people learn best in communities with others striving to move in the same direction.

What Is Included In the Workshop?
We will discuss our rules for raising boys, including objectives, do's, don'ts, and research to support the rule. The five rules build upon each other. Appreciating the role of culture and conditioning in boys' experience leads parent to a better understanding of the specific strategies and skills they need to develop. Understanding the critical role of connection in male psychological development lays the foundation for parents' emotional work with their sons. In a similar way, parents learn that setting limits with their sons has both a relational and an emotional component. Finally, new models for children's processes of separation and achievement of independence draw from skills introduced and described in these earlier lessons.

What Are Our Rules For Raising Boys?

1. Advocate for possibility for your son.  Watch for opportunities to help your son deal with the pressures he faces by running interference or providing a haven.  Be careful not to pick the wrong battles, which can violate your son's personal boundaries.
2. Balance being and doing with your son. Help your son answer he question "Who am I?" through both mirroring experiences and strong relationships.
3. Encourage emotional expression. Maintain your connection with your son and encourage him to express his feelings about the pressures and harsh experiences that may be confronting him.
4. Exercise authority. The goal of setting limits is not a compliant son, but a son who has learned to function autonomously, within bounds.
5. Promote your son's autonomy. Support your son through his challenges, but do not fight his battles for him. Like a good coach, cultivate courage and confidence.

What Participants Have Had To Say?
"I liked the format, interaction without judgment. You created a safe environment and offered reasonable suggestions."

"Very eye-opening. Good take-home value."

"Highly beneficial. Very proactive and encouraging."

"Helped me to examine ways to communicate and assist my boys with relationships."

"Thank you. It was motivating and showed me how much more time and attention I need to give to what is going on in my son's life."

Workshop Leader
Michael Reichert is a psychologist who has specialized in work with children, families and men throughout the Delaware Valley for the past 25 years. He is currently in clinical practice in Bala Cynwyd; serves as Executive Director of the Center for the Study of Boys' Lives, a research consortium created by independent schools in conjunction with the University of Pennsylvania; and consults regularly to a number of independent schools, including The Haverford School, where he has been on staff since 1989. He has led experiential workshops for men and a variety of programs for boys and their families. He has also worked in clinical contexts with boys and their families.

Workshop Format
Raising Sons 101 is different than a parent lecture. As an opportunity to both learn about key skills required to raise a son and to begin practicing these skills, the workshop requires a commitment of time.

Raising Sons 101 can be adapted to the realities of school’s circumstances, however, and can begin with a 2 hour introductory talk. Ideally, a longer block of time can be found for the more dedicated group of parents interested in establishing a learning community within the school.

Please contact CSBGL for more information:
(610) 667-9503
e-mail: mreichert@csbl.org

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